The End is Near

Well, the flight has been purchased. That means that the end is in sight -- the date is final. I'm going home.

And more than likely, for good. Or at least for a while.
I always thought that at some point, I'd know when it was time to go home -- that I'd feel like I was ready to leave and be done, and move on to the next phase of life. I suppose I did feel that, some time around December, amidst the troubles I was facing with my apartment and with my residence card. But the spring has been much better to me than the winter was, and now that my departure date is approaching, I find myself wishing I could stay -- if only there was a way.

Life seldom turns a page when we want it to, and never as cleanly as we want it.

 I think part of the problem is that I don't have anything lined up. I don't have a job to return to, or one to stay with either. I don't know what comes next. What is my life going to be like when I get back to Pittsburgh? Will it be the same as when I left, or will it grow to match who I am now? What's the next dream?

The part of me that wants to stay knows that life can't continue like this forever. The important thing is to move forward -- I'm just not sure what that includes yet.